it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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