Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
