Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My vagina is officially offended.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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