Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
