I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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