it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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