I must be too annoying 4 u.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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