We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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