Please, let me fuck your mom
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
