The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
