I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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