My first STD was from a foam party
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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