Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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