Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Drake has all the answers
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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