He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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