And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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