i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
