your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
