does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
