I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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