I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
