I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
