I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
