I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
