$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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