my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
