you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
