Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Panties = found
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
