I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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