I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we have pet lesbian snakes
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
