ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
