is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
