FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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