ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
