So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
