In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
