We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
