You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
