real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
