Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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