all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
