I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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