HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
