Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
