Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
