we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
