honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
