I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
