I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
COCAINE IS GR8
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize