They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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