come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
