I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize