dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
