I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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