the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
