You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
