ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
