As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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