she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
