They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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