This girl is more easily done than said...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
