she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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